wow. so Epiphany time.

I've been reading back and really thinking about this whole baby situation. I was reading back to where I had that crazy dream of mine about having to give birth all alone and the truth is, I feel really alone. but it has nothing to do with anyone else. I push people away! I keep things from people. I mean no one in my church even knew that hubby and I were trying to have a baby in the first place! How can I expect them to be there for me, in prayer and in need when I don't tell anyone anything?

so it's honesty time. I'm going to let people know that Hubby and I are trying and that it's a real struggle for us. *read: me*

I've been reading this article over and over from the latest issue of "Servant" magazine (issue 85 2010) with an article called "plan b" and I think I'm going to share part of it

"Waiting on God
we talk a lot about Good Friday when redemption happened through the shedding of Christ's blood. Easter Sunday is a day of celebration because Jesus conquered death so we can have life. But we don't hear a lot about Saturday. Saturday seems like a day when nothing is happening. it's a day of questioning, doubting and waiting, a day of hopelessness when we wonder if God is asleep or simply powerless to do anything about our problems. Is it possible though that Saturday is actually a day of preparation when God's getting ready to do his best work in us?"

I've decided to live in Saturday Mode. Not the uncertainty or the doubt or the hopelessness, but the Hope and Anticipation of God's work being done!

at least, that's my plan..
wish me luck!
Ruthi