Dear Dr Epstein
First of all, I have to say I’m sorry. You are not an idiot and although (in my own blog and my own opinion) I had every right to say it, you’re right: as a ‘mature’ adult (which I never claimed to be) I should take more responsibility for the words I use, I’m sorry: forgive me.
The article I wrote had little to do with what you wrote and more to do with what I thought about what I had read in TIME. The article I read upset me a lot, more so than I thought it would. It filled me with fear when I thought of my nieces 8-10 and my great nieces 3 months – 4 years and the trials they might have to go through when they reach their teen years. I agreed with your idea that people should have to take a test on whether or not they are competent enough to be considered ‘adults.’ In fact, what’s stopping the government from making sure that the people who are allowed to drink, smoke, have sex and so on should have that responsibility? I can give you a list as long as my arm of those who would fail said test. The problem isn’t that some teens are mature enough to be adults, the problem is that parents can say they want their children to be considered ‘adult dependents’ and what-not in order to have them get jobs, pay rent or move out, and release the parents of all responsibility for the child.
I’m in Kenya right now. Children here are not even allowed into the kitchen until they are into their teen years because the parents don’t want to take the chance that something could happen to them. My mother (bless her) didn’t have that problem. I’m the 4th born in a family of 5 girls. My mother by the time I came along didn’t have a problem with me staying out late as long as I didn’t ‘wake her when I came home’ or for that matter ‘wake her if I needed a ride’ I started mixing cookie dough and banana bread when I was 5. Parents are taking a lot more responsibility for their children, but there is still a need and a desire in North America especially to be lazy. And it’s very easy!
Being here I’ve learned how to cook on a small charcoal burner (jiko) for hours in order to prepare a small bit of cabbage. I’ve learned how to get from point a to point b without the use of a car/bike, and I’ve learned that when I get back to Canada, my life is going to be so much easier. There are no washing machines, dishwashers, and baking takes close to an hour over the allotted 8-12 minutes. We want to be lazy. Put our clothes into a washing machine and sit on our asses for an hour watching ‘what not to wear’ then when the machine dings, to pull it out, put in into the dryer, press a button and go and sit and watch Oprah for the next hour. Then we pull them out and (sometimes) fold them and put them away. The draw to take the bus to the store that’s within walking distance and take the escalator/elevator over the plain and simple stairs is more than I can bear. I’m guilty of it too, and have made it a point when I get home to rectify my mistake.
Sir, I’m sorry for what I said about you, but I’m not sorry for what I said about the idea that the age of adolescence is dead. This is not the first time I’ve heard the argument of abolishing the ‘arbitrary age minimums’ and as my husband and I will soon be starting a family of our own, the idea that children are becoming more adult scares me half to death as it should you. My apologies if what I said about you was too harsh. It was not my intent, nor (and I’m sorry to admit this because it is the least mature thing that could be said) I had no idea that you would ever read it. It doesn’t make what I said right, but it’s true and I’m honoured that you said your piece.
Take care of your ‘four beautiful children’ and be assured that when I get back to Canada in 2-3 weeks, I have every intention of reading ‘The Case against Adolescence: Rediscovering the Adult in Every Teen’ who knows? I might learn something. :D
First of all, I have to say I’m sorry. You are not an idiot and although (in my own blog and my own opinion) I had every right to say it, you’re right: as a ‘mature’ adult (which I never claimed to be) I should take more responsibility for the words I use, I’m sorry: forgive me.
The article I wrote had little to do with what you wrote and more to do with what I thought about what I had read in TIME. The article I read upset me a lot, more so than I thought it would. It filled me with fear when I thought of my nieces 8-10 and my great nieces 3 months – 4 years and the trials they might have to go through when they reach their teen years. I agreed with your idea that people should have to take a test on whether or not they are competent enough to be considered ‘adults.’ In fact, what’s stopping the government from making sure that the people who are allowed to drink, smoke, have sex and so on should have that responsibility? I can give you a list as long as my arm of those who would fail said test. The problem isn’t that some teens are mature enough to be adults, the problem is that parents can say they want their children to be considered ‘adult dependents’ and what-not in order to have them get jobs, pay rent or move out, and release the parents of all responsibility for the child.
I’m in Kenya right now. Children here are not even allowed into the kitchen until they are into their teen years because the parents don’t want to take the chance that something could happen to them. My mother (bless her) didn’t have that problem. I’m the 4th born in a family of 5 girls. My mother by the time I came along didn’t have a problem with me staying out late as long as I didn’t ‘wake her when I came home’ or for that matter ‘wake her if I needed a ride’ I started mixing cookie dough and banana bread when I was 5. Parents are taking a lot more responsibility for their children, but there is still a need and a desire in North America especially to be lazy. And it’s very easy!
Being here I’ve learned how to cook on a small charcoal burner (jiko) for hours in order to prepare a small bit of cabbage. I’ve learned how to get from point a to point b without the use of a car/bike, and I’ve learned that when I get back to Canada, my life is going to be so much easier. There are no washing machines, dishwashers, and baking takes close to an hour over the allotted 8-12 minutes. We want to be lazy. Put our clothes into a washing machine and sit on our asses for an hour watching ‘what not to wear’ then when the machine dings, to pull it out, put in into the dryer, press a button and go and sit and watch Oprah for the next hour. Then we pull them out and (sometimes) fold them and put them away. The draw to take the bus to the store that’s within walking distance and take the escalator/elevator over the plain and simple stairs is more than I can bear. I’m guilty of it too, and have made it a point when I get home to rectify my mistake.
Sir, I’m sorry for what I said about you, but I’m not sorry for what I said about the idea that the age of adolescence is dead. This is not the first time I’ve heard the argument of abolishing the ‘arbitrary age minimums’ and as my husband and I will soon be starting a family of our own, the idea that children are becoming more adult scares me half to death as it should you. My apologies if what I said about you was too harsh. It was not my intent, nor (and I’m sorry to admit this because it is the least mature thing that could be said) I had no idea that you would ever read it. It doesn’t make what I said right, but it’s true and I’m honoured that you said your piece.
Take care of your ‘four beautiful children’ and be assured that when I get back to Canada in 2-3 weeks, I have every intention of reading ‘The Case against Adolescence: Rediscovering the Adult in Every Teen’ who knows? I might learn something. :D
posted by R Sheldon at 4:39 AM
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